Theodore:
My heart was pounding. Something had changed in me.
I kept pacing around my bedroom before finally grabbing my diary and sitting down to write.
My hands started to shake as I began writing about the encounter.
The diary was filled with encounters like this, and it had all started one day a few years ago.
I remembered that night specifically.
I had written about it, and after that, a cycle began.
I had been searching for that same feeling ever since.
But tonight was different. It felt far better than what I remembered.
It was familiar, yet more intense.
When I was in Verity’s gown, I couldn’t stop myself.
She smelled so good and so familiar.
I groaned as I wrote about it, then slammed my hand on the table.
"There is no way. I’m only noticing the similarities because I really like Verity," I told myself.
But it had felt so good.
For someone who had been searching for the same kind of pleasure, of course I was going to feel a certain way when I experienced that exact feeling again, only better.
Flashback
Years ago, I walked happily from the kitchen toward my bedroom, waiting for the woman to come to my room.
"Hey, you look upbeat," my friend remarked, making me roll my eyes at him.
"What are you guys doing in my bedroom? Come on, go. I have something important to do here," I told them.
They all had their masks off.
They had probably been drinking here and taking drugs, hiding it from Ragnar or Jaguar.
"I saw you walking around a fat piglet."
Suddenly, one of them spoke up, and I didn’t know why, but an intense urge to defend her hit me.
"Behave," I told him, rolling my eyes.
"Oh, come on. Don’t tell me you want to pick a fat one," another friend said, causing me to swallow hard. "There are so many pretty women around you, and you’re after someone who’s so fucking fat, it looks like she ate her entire family?"
As I kept listening to them, I began to grow self-conscious about my image.
"Don’t you remember how you broke up with your last girlfriend and she cursed you for falling for a fat piglet or an ugly woman? It seems like karma isn’t even hitting you. You’re literally walking right into it yourself."
They all laughed.
Then realization hit me.
How could I be thinking so deeply about a woman I had just met?
I mean, sure, she smelled good. She felt good.
She tasted good too.
But that didn’t mean I had to think of her as someone I could fall in love with.
I had an image to maintain.
A woman walking beside me shouldn’t be this overweight, nor should she be a maid serving my guests.
So I started laughing with them, watching as their laughter gradually died down.
Then I told them about my plan.
After that, I asked them to leave because, well, I had already asked her to come to my room.
Once I slept with her and had her under me, I didn’t think I would remember her.
I didn’t think I would need to keep seeing her either.
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