She Was Never Just the Billionaire’s Wife (Natasha and Chase) novel Chapter 181

(Clarice)

There are eleven letters in front of me.

I have laid them out in two neat rows on the kitchen table.

The way I used to lay out invitations when I planned dinners for two hundred.

Five on the left. Six on the right. Each one stopped at a different sentence.

Letter one. Dear Natasha. I am writing to say what I should have said a long time —

Letter two. Dear Natasha. There are a number of things I think you should hear from me rather than —

Letter three. Natasha. Please.

That one took me four hours.

Letter four. Dear Natasha. Your father —

Obviously I couldn’t use that one. Will isn’t to blame for any of this.

Letter five was ready to go.

I had it folded and in the envelope.

I walked it to the box at the gate and stood with my hand on the slot for two minutes and brought it back inside.

Letters six through ten are variations on more opening lines I can’t finish because there’s no good way to say what I need to say.

Letter eleven is what I’m working on now.

If by working I mean staring at while doing nothing.

The sheet is blank.

The pen has been in my hand for ninety minutes and it hasn’t moved.

Hendrik is in New York.

He keeps offering to come and stay with me for a while, and I keep telling him not to be silly and to focus on the business and the fall-out of Nathanial’s sudden departure.

He worries that I’m lonely.

I assure him that I’m fine.

He has no idea what’s actually going on and I have no idea how he’d deal with it if he finds out.

He calls every morning at eight and every evening at six to tell me how much he loves and misses me.

I don’t want that to stop being true.

The front door opens without a knock.

I jerk my head around, expecting to see Nathanial.

Instead I find James standing in the doorway.

"Your front door is open."

"And you decided that’s an invitation to walk right in?"

“Obviously.”

He walks into the kitchen and hangs his coat over the back of the chair across from mine.

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