The Scumbag's Guide To Heroism novel Chapter 39

Chapter 39: 39 | Touch Under Cover

Thai food really did make everything better.

I sat back in my chair, stomach full of pad thai and green curry, watching Diane laugh at something Sloane said about one of the agency’s clients accidentally setting his own costume on fire during a photoshoot. When Diane wasn’t being the sharp CEO who could read everyone in a room or the guardian who’d just caught me groping her in a hug, she was actually funny. Warm. The kind of person who made the whole room lighter just by being in it.

"He tried to put it out with his hands," Sloane said, grinning. "Which made it worse because his Aspect generates friction."

"The entire studio had to evacuate," Diane added, taking a sip of wine. "And he still wanted to finish the shoot. Said he could work with the burnt look."

I couldn’t help but laugh. "Did he?"

"Absolutely not. His agent had to physically drag him out while he was arguing that battle damage was trendy." Diane shook her head. "Heroes. They’re all insane."

Sloane snorted. "You represent thirty-one of them."

"Which is how I know they’re insane."

The banter continued while I cleared the plates, carrying them to the kitchen. Sloane tried to get up to help but I waved her off. The least I could do was put away the leftovers after everything that happened today.

Getting officially registered as a Channeler.

Having Diane discover my second ability and somehow convince her to keep it secret.

Kissing Sloane. Again. On my bed. With her straddling me and demanding answers I couldn’t give.

Yeah. Thai food and mundane cleanup duty were a welcome break from the absolute chaos my life had become.

I was putting the last container in the fridge when Diane appeared in the doorway.

"You know, I interrupted your movie night yesterday," she said, leaning against the frame. "We should have a proper family movie night tonight. Make up for my poor timing."

Family. The word hit different coming from her. Nine years I’d been here and she still found ways to remind me I wasn’t just a ward or charity case.

"I’m down," I said.

"Sloane?" Diane called toward the living room.

"Yeah, sure!" Sloane’s voice carried back, slightly too eager.

"Perfect. Let me change into something more comfortable." Diane smiled. "Lukas, would you mind getting popcorn ready?"

"On it."

She disappeared upstairs and I grabbed the popcorn from the pantry. Sloane was already heading toward the theater room, her face still carrying that pink flush from earlier. She kept glancing at me and then looking away, like she couldn’t decide if she wanted to maintain eye contact or pretend I didn’t exist.

It was cute. Really cute. I’d never seen Sloane this flustered before and part of me wanted to push it just to see how red I could make her face turn.

"What?" she snapped, catching me looking.

"Nothing."

"Then stop smiling like that."

"Like what?"

"Like... like you know something I don’t!" Her face went redder.

I couldn’t help it. The grin got wider.

She punched me in the arm.

Hard.

"Ow! Fuck!" I grabbed my shoulder, the impact sending actual pain shooting down to my elbow. "What the hell?"

"I said shut up!"

"I didn’t even say anything!"

〘 SIDE QUEST AVAILABLE: TOUCH UNDER COVER

Objective: Make physical contact with both subjects’ inner thighs for minimum seven minutes each before movie conclusion. Contact must be sustained and undetected.

Rewards:

Gold Gacha Pull with Selection Option (Choose 1 from 5 revealed pulls)

500 SP

Time Limit: Movie duration

Note: No failure penalty. Quest is optional. Rewards reflect difficulty and discretion requirements. 〙

I stared at the notification hovering in my peripheral vision.

No failure penalty. Optional quest. Amazing rewards.

The System was giving me an out while simultaneously dangling the exact kind of pull I’d been wanting. Gold tier meant serious abilities. Selection option meant I could choose the best result from five pulls instead of gambling on a single random outcome. Five hundred SP would cover stat increases or future pulls.

All I had to do was spend fourteen minutes total touching both Sloane and Diane under this blanket without either of them pulling away.

The absolute audacity of this System continued to impress and horrify me in equal measure.

I could ignore it. No penalty meant no consequence. Just watch the movie, eat popcorn, and pretend my life wasn’t controlled by a gacha mechanic designed to turn me into the protagonist of the worst hentai light novel ever written.

But that Gold pull with selection...

Sloane shifted beside me, her thigh pressing briefly against mine through the blanket. My pulse kicked up and I forced myself to stare at the screen.

Diane reached for popcorn, her hand brushing my arm as she pulled back. The silk of her nightgown whispered against the fabric of the blanket.

"So," Sloane said, settling deeper into the cushions. "What are we watching?"