My Stepbrother's Dirty Little Secret novel Chapter 429

Chapter 429

The pressure built and built until it felt impossible to breathe. I pressed my hand against my mouth, tried to hold it together, tried to keep everything locked inside but I couldn’t.

A broken sound escaped me and then the tears came. I bent forward suddenly and covered my face. My shoulders shook. I hated feeling weak but the hurt had been building for too long.

Weeks.

Months.

Maybe longer.

And now it was spilling out of me whether I wanted it to or not.

“Gianna?”

I immediately pulled her into my arms hard, almost desperately. I wrapped both arms around her little body and buried my face against the top of her head.

She smelled like strawberries.

“I didn’t mean for this to happen,” I whispered, “I really didn’t.”

Jules slowly hugged me back.

“I tried not to. I kept telling myself it wasn’t real.”

Jules just listened.

“I thought I could control it.”

I laughed weakly, a horrible little laugh. The kind that comes right before another wave of tears.

“I thought I was smarter than this.”

Jules’ small hand rubbed my back and the gesture nearly destroyed me. Because somehow my little sister was comforting me, not the other way around.

“I didn’t want to love him. I didn’t want this. I didn’t ask for it. I tried so hard not to but… I fell in love with him anyway.”

The confession left me shaking.

“I don’t know when it happened. Maybe it happened slowly.”

I remembered his office.

The little fights we had.

When he stole my grilled cheese sandwich.

The motorcycle rides.

The woods.

The way he always looked for me in crowded rooms.

The way he bought Claire’s painting before I even had the chance to tell him how badly I wanted it.

The way he listened when nobody else did.

The way he found out about my dyslexia and didn’t treat me differently afterward. No sympathy. No awkward looks. No disappointment. He just accepted it and carried on like it changed absolutely nothing about me.

The way he took my pain personally, and the way those men at the gas station paid for it.

The way he made me feel safe.

And completely unsafe at the same time.

“Maybe it happened from the very beginning. I don’t know.”

“But-“Jules stopped. Her face scrunched up in confusion, “He kissed you.”

I closed my eyes briefly. If only life were that simple, “He did.”

Jules stared, “Then he loves you.”

The certainty in her voice almost made me laugh again. I gently brushed some hair away from Jules’ face, “It doesn’t always work like that.”

Her eyebrows pulled together immediately, “Why?”

Because I had spent months asking myself the same question.

“Sometimes people kiss each other even when they aren’t in love.”

Jules looked horrified, “Why would they do that?”

A sad smile tugged at my lips. That was actually a very good question. Why would they? Why would anybody willingly break their own heart? Why would anybody keep reaching for something they couldn’t have?

“I don’t know,” I admitted quietly.

“That sounds stupid.”

Despite everything, I laughed, “Yeah.”

“It sounds very stupid,” he added, and folded her arms, “Then Raphael is stupid.”

I laughed harder. She looked deeply offended on my behalf.

“If he kissed you and doesn’t love you, then that’s stupid.”

I shook my head, “It’s more complicated than that.”

Jules climbed fully into my lap then. Resting her head against my shoulder. After a few moments she spoke again. Very quietly this time.