A Kiss at Midnight (Delilah and Caelum) novel Chapter 8

Chapter 8

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Dinner at our house was never really about food or family, if anything I would say it was more of a performance. Same as every night. The dining room looked exactly like something straight out of a magazine spread with the long polished table, spotless silverware and soft golden lightning that made everything feel staged.

Even the chairs felt like they had a posture.Everything was perfect, well, that is if we decide minus the people sitting at it

I sat across from my mother, lazily pushing a piece of roasted chicken around my plate, not even bothering to pretend was hungry…

Had no reason to, knowing it was probably…no scratch that… It most definitely going to end like every other dinner we’ve had together.

My father sat at the head of the table, scrolling through something on his phone between bites, his attention split like it always was, half here and half somewhere more important.

No one spoke for a while, just the sound of cutlery clinking softly. This was anything but comfortable, and I was certain it won’t take up to a minute before it breaks into something worse.

“I got a call from your school today.”

Ahh, there it was.

I didn’t bother looking. “Did you now.”

My mother set her fork down with precision, not slamming a thing. Well, given her type of personality, she did everything with a controlled quietness that cuts deeper.

“Yes,” she said, “I did.” I finally lifted my gaze, taking in the calm expression, maybe way too calm. “The administration informed me that you have been skipping classes.”

Was there anything private any more

It wasn’t like I skipped all my classes, maybe a couple of them which I find way too boring to seat through. I mean, it’s not like I understand half of what is being said, so why bother going through some sick torture that is aiming for my mental health.

A hard pass

But that wasn’t the point. It’s the fact the school administration wasted no time to tattletale to my parents.

Talk about lack of trust

I leaned back slightly in my chair, crossing one leg over the other, “I wouldn’t call it skipping,” I said lightly, “more like selective attendance.”

My fathet huffed a quiet laugh under his breath but my mother didn’t, her eyes shifted to him briefly with a sharp warning, and the laugh died down instantly.

Right

Back to business

“This isn’t something to joke about, Delilah.”

“Who said I was joking.” I raise a brow, before shrugging my shoulders.

12:38 Mon, Jul 2010.

Chapter 8

“You should be concerned.”

“Well I’m not.”

Her lips pressed into a thin line, that was always the first sign, “you’re failing multiple subjects.” There it was, out in the open. I shrugged again, “I will fix it.”

“How exactly do you intend to do that.” She asked sharply, “by not making even a tiny little bit attempt to show up to your classes”

“I said I will fix it.” My tone matched her a little bit.

“You don’t seem to understand the severity of the situation.” I let out a quiet breath, already feeling the irritation creeping up my spine.

“I understand it just fine.”

“Do you?”She snaps again, her composure cracked just slightly, but enough to let something sharper slide through, “because from where I’m seated, it looked like you are throwing your future away over laziness and poor decisions.”

Laziness

My jaw clenched a bit as I straightened in my seat. “I’m not being lazy.”

“Oh, really. No.” She says, “then what would you call this then, because it certainly isn’t effort.”

“It’s just one bad term.”

“Oh please,” she rolls her eyes, “you barely made it through the last term. This…” her finger jab at the table, “this is nothing more but a pattern.”

“This is just temporary, I’m going to fix.”

“How exactly do you plan on doing so, or find another way to embarrass us further than you already have.”

That hit hard, and I felt the annoyance begin to bubble up inside me. I tilted my head, letting out a humorless laugh. “Right, I forgot. You won’t want your good name to be soured.”

“Your actions doesn’t just reflect on your character but this family as well. You should know that by now.”

My hand tightened around the fork in my hand, knowing very well that this wasn’t about me or my future but about souring the good name of the family, and image. It was always about the image

“Right,” I said blankly, “god forbids I ruin the brand.”

“Delilah.” my father warned gently.

My attention drifted to him, and he gives me a look that said not now, and too let it go. Biting at the wall of my lips, my gaze rested on his for moment before returning back to her.

“I said I will fix it.”

“And I would like to know how you plan on doing so.” She shot back.

“Why does it matter, as long as it gets done…”

“Because I don’t trust you to handle it.” Silence settled in the table, one that was filed with tension.

20

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12:38 Mon, Jul 20

Chapter 8

I leaned forward, resting my elbow on the table. “You don’t trust me?”

“No,” she answered plainly.

Well, at least she was honest about it

“That is interesting,” I murmured.

“Is it?”

“Yeah, considering I’ve been handling myself just fine for years.”

“Handling yourself,” she repeated with a scoff,” Is that what you it, uh. Skipping classes, failing subjects, and coasting through life on charm?”

Charm

Like it was a crime

“It’s worked so far.”

“Barely.”I felt a tightness in my chest, and this wasn’t just hurt, but something close to anger.

“You act like I’m ruining my life.”

“Aren’t you.”

“I’m still passing.”

“Barely, again.”

“I will graduate.”

“Definitely not at this rate, no.”

I rolled

my eyes. “You are just being dramatic.”

“No,” she said, her voice suddenly colder, “I’m just letting you know what’s at stake in case you’ve lost sight of it. Which clearly you already have.”

But does she stop there. No. She decided to go full blown out with her words, without any form of hesitation.

“I don’t understand how two daughter raised in the same house could turn out so differently.” the moment the words left her mouth, I felt the tightness again in my chest. The only difference was that it was jabbing harder this time.

And that familiar, ugly direction the conversation always takes anytime she ran out of actual arguments.

My grip tightened again in my fork, and slowly I set it down, “you don’t get to do that.” I said, voice low.

My mother doesn’t even blink, neither was she ready to die it before it sprung into something more.

“Your sister never had theses issues.”

And there it was

Back to being about her

Always her

Chapter 8

“Stop,” I said.

S vouchor’s

“She was disciplined,” my mother continued like she hadn’t heard me, “focused. She understood responsibility in a way you clearly don’t.”

“Can you stop talking about her”

“She didn’t need to make up excuses, she didn’t…”

“I said stop,” my voice cracked through the room, sharp enough to make even my father look up.

But my mother on the other hand, just watched calmly, unmoved. Almost like she was waiting for this.

“She didn’t embarrass the family,” she finished.

Something inside of me snapped and without a second thought I pushed back from the table, the leg of my chair screeching loudly against the floor.

“Of course she didn’t,” I said, my voice shaking now. “She was perfect, right. That’s what you always say. Perfect grades, attitude, the perfect daughter. Well, news flash, I’m not her.”The word came out colder than I intended for it to be.

Or maybe it was exactly as cold as I mean them to be

“I’m not going to be her,” I continueed, voice rising, so you can stop comparing me like I’m some kind of replacement that didn’t turn out right.” The words came out louder than I meant for them to be, cracking through the room.

And the room falls into silence, the kind that made everything worse

My mother straightened I her chair slowly, like I had proven a point she had been waiting to make. “No,” she said,” you’re not.”

There was something about the way she said it, that was filled with certainty, that it hits harder than any shouting could.

I gulped, feeling the tightness in my throat now, “then stop comparing me to her.”

“I will stop,” she said calmly, “when you finally give me a reason not to.”

A hollow laugh slipped out of my. “You’ve been comparing me to her long before my grades dropped.”

“Its not my fairly that she set the standard so high, you couldn’t even catch up.”

“This was more than just the standard, she was your foureite.” I shot back.

My father shifted. “Dalilah…”

“Don’t,” I snapped, not even looking at him, my eyes stayed locked on her, because I wanted to hear it.

I needed to hear it

Say it

Says it out loud

For fucking once

My mother didn’t flinch, “If you’re asking whether she was the better daughter,” she said, voice cool almost bored, “yes.”

Something in my chest cracked open, quiet and ugly. I stared at her. “You don’t even hear yourself.”

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