Juniper returned to her apartment and soaked in the bathtub until sweat beaded on her nose, finally feeling the bone-deep chill start to fade.
She got up, dried off with a towel, and walked back to her bed. She grabbed her melatonin and took three pills.
One pill didn't work. Only three could barely lull her to sleep.
Lying in bed, she forced her eyes closed.
For the past four years, she had been dreaming. She kept having pathetic dreams about Nelson.
She dreamed of the endless rain in Oakley. She had fallen and injured her leg in the woods. Watching the sky turn dark, and unable to hear, she could only sit helplessly on a rock and cry. It wasn't her first time facing the dark like this.
When she was very little, she was fostered at her uncle's house while her parents worked out of town. She had to take care of her uncle's cows and sheep.
A child living under someone else's roof always hoped to do more chores to earn affection.
Every day after school, she would grab her backpack and head up the mountain to find the cows, but one time she just couldn't find them.
Eight-year-old Juniper could only search while crying. As the sky grew darker, she could already imagine how her uncle's family would yell at her.
She didn't dare go back, so she stayed on the mountain.
She lit a half-used candle from her backpack and sat in a narrow cave. Listening to the bugs chirping outside, she was terrified.
She hoped her uncle would come looking for her. If they came, maybe it meant they forgave her and wouldn't punish her for losing a cow.
But as dusk turned to the pitch black of night, the chirping grew louder, and she shrank back in fear.
Drops of wax fell to the ground, and she was scared to death.
By the time the horizon began to lighten, no one had come.
She pried the hardened wax drops off the floor one by one and shoved them into her mouth.
She didn't know any better back then, thinking she would die if she ate it.
She'd get beaten by her uncle if she went back anyway, so she might as well eat this and die.
She ate and cried, crying until she gagged. Then, the sound of a cow mooing rang out.
She thought she heard wrong, scrambling out of the cave to look.
The cow had been hiding from the rain, naturally swatting its tail in the woods.
Juniper ran over on her short legs, hugged the cow's neck, and bawled.


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